Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this just has baby written all over it
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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