Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
this just has baby written all over it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
