I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
