Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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