he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
