It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
