I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
