i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
