i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize