the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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