Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize