i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
