pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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