WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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