You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
