but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why do cheetos always look like penises
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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