I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I didn't shave. On purpose
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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