no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
