I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
