I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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