Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
