ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
When are your genitals available?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
