btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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