Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
