i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just gargled with NyQuil
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
