so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I believe in your delicious
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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