You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Randomize