You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
