I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
