I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
