We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
