i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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