Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
