You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
