you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
