So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
