Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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