i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
