she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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