bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
