he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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