And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize