There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
