i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I look better un-naked...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
