do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
