Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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