Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
