I feel like abortions should bother me more
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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