if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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