I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
