I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
