Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
