Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
