you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
