God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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