Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It was confusing and full of hummus
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
