What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
