Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
