I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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