Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
