He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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