he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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