so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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