super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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