ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize