It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
