omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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