whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you still have your period?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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