I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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