I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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