with your own penis?
from now on my penis is your penis
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i've created a new STD.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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