Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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