Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
