I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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