she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
