I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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