I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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