seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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