The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
